July 21st, 2023
by Pastor Shannon Hayes
by Pastor Shannon Hayes
Whether you’re new at this or, if you’re like me, you’ve been at it for a while, being a mom welcomes us to a new adventure every day! As moms, we SO want to say that every day is a grand, joy-filled adventure…but often times we don’t know what to call it, lol!
Navigating this ambiguous ’mom space’ can definitely be a trip, to say the least. Face it, our plans are tied to what side of the bed our kids wake up on, what our kids are facing on a given day, our husband’s schedule, our work demands, not to mention how we’re feeling (this list could go on and on). And yes, we are tied to all these things and more, but our lives shouldn’t be dictated by them. So, even though it may seem as if every day rests on unknowns, there are three things that do not have to change:
How do I know? Based on a life of experience. A little about me…Yes, I am an Assistant Pastor. Many times, people think that being a pastor or minister gives you a leg up on living a godly life…I wish! Different title, high level of responsibility and accountability, but same struggles as everybody else.
AND, I didn’t begin life planning or expecting to be a pastor. As a young girl, my dream was to become a pastry chef. My desire turned into a budding career in hospitality and the launch of an event planning company. But it was all seemingly cut short during our second pregnancy. In the years to follow, my return to work, as I saw it, got delayed again and again and, thru the course of it all, my definition of being a working mom changed. I realized EVERY mom IS a working mom, period. None of us have it any better or worse than the other…we’re all in this together! I also realized that my dreams didn’t die when I had my kids, they came to life! (…I’ll fill in the juicy details as we grow together!)
Fast forward six kids plus one later….almost 30 years of marriage in, everything has come together so beautifully. I see so clearly how our unconventional, counter-cultural life didn’t need to be validated by anyone (including us). I thank God for that! God loved me so much that He didn’t pause for me to approve because His plan IS the best plan, even when I can’t see it.
But I have to say, looking back, when I was in the thick of it going from 1 child to 2, then three, four to six AND with the unexpected bonus of number seven …I have had to pause and look for me before “me” drowned! At one time in my life I would say, “before life overwhelmed me”. But looking at it now, I should say “before I let uninformed expectations overwhelm me”. Whose expectations? The expectations of:
As moms, we deal with an onslaught of expectations and it is impossible to live up to all of them or to know all of what will happen next. Which brings me to the ultimate mom example: Mary, the mother of Jesus. Listen, you want to talk about expectations? Mary had to adhere to strict cultural norms as a young woman…serious family and community expectations that literally defined her place in society. And what does God do? He changes her whole life with a pregnancy BEFORE marriage. Not just any pregnancy, but an immaculate conception nonetheless (try explaining that to your fiance and family!). Not her decision, definitely not her timing or her chosen circumstance….yet she embraced it all by narrowing her concern in response to one question: ‘what does GOD expect of me?’ We‘ll talk more about Mary next time. But at the end of the day, Mary took it all in and embraced it. Then, she chose a safe space to share with someone who would not only get it, but would celebrate it too!
That is what MOM LYFE is all about…a safe place where you and your season as a mom can be celebrated and wisely counseled. I invite you to help curate this space with an abundance of authenticity, encouragement, ears to listen, shoulders to lean (and cry) on, wisdom and, most importantly, Jesus! Add like-minded friends and mentorship to your mom journey by being a part of Mom LYFE. Let’s build an unshakable joy and peace on the unchangeable foundation of faith in Christ together.
Love, Pastor Shannon
Mom LYFE meets in person every Wednesday…Learn more at https://subspla.sh/h24v6fx/
Navigating this ambiguous ’mom space’ can definitely be a trip, to say the least. Face it, our plans are tied to what side of the bed our kids wake up on, what our kids are facing on a given day, our husband’s schedule, our work demands, not to mention how we’re feeling (this list could go on and on). And yes, we are tied to all these things and more, but our lives shouldn’t be dictated by them. So, even though it may seem as if every day rests on unknowns, there are three things that do not have to change:
- Our Joy
- Our Peace
- Our Faith
How do I know? Based on a life of experience. A little about me…Yes, I am an Assistant Pastor. Many times, people think that being a pastor or minister gives you a leg up on living a godly life…I wish! Different title, high level of responsibility and accountability, but same struggles as everybody else.
AND, I didn’t begin life planning or expecting to be a pastor. As a young girl, my dream was to become a pastry chef. My desire turned into a budding career in hospitality and the launch of an event planning company. But it was all seemingly cut short during our second pregnancy. In the years to follow, my return to work, as I saw it, got delayed again and again and, thru the course of it all, my definition of being a working mom changed. I realized EVERY mom IS a working mom, period. None of us have it any better or worse than the other…we’re all in this together! I also realized that my dreams didn’t die when I had my kids, they came to life! (…I’ll fill in the juicy details as we grow together!)
Fast forward six kids plus one later….almost 30 years of marriage in, everything has come together so beautifully. I see so clearly how our unconventional, counter-cultural life didn’t need to be validated by anyone (including us). I thank God for that! God loved me so much that He didn’t pause for me to approve because His plan IS the best plan, even when I can’t see it.
But I have to say, looking back, when I was in the thick of it going from 1 child to 2, then three, four to six AND with the unexpected bonus of number seven …I have had to pause and look for me before “me” drowned! At one time in my life I would say, “before life overwhelmed me”. But looking at it now, I should say “before I let uninformed expectations overwhelm me”. Whose expectations? The expectations of:
- People who didn’t know me or us
- The culture that didn’t always reflect my experience
- My family and peers who had their own agendas and priorities
- My husband and kids, whose expectations were oftentimes narrowly focused (not necessarily in a bad way), AND
- My own expectations that were ever changing
As moms, we deal with an onslaught of expectations and it is impossible to live up to all of them or to know all of what will happen next. Which brings me to the ultimate mom example: Mary, the mother of Jesus. Listen, you want to talk about expectations? Mary had to adhere to strict cultural norms as a young woman…serious family and community expectations that literally defined her place in society. And what does God do? He changes her whole life with a pregnancy BEFORE marriage. Not just any pregnancy, but an immaculate conception nonetheless (try explaining that to your fiance and family!). Not her decision, definitely not her timing or her chosen circumstance….yet she embraced it all by narrowing her concern in response to one question: ‘what does GOD expect of me?’ We‘ll talk more about Mary next time. But at the end of the day, Mary took it all in and embraced it. Then, she chose a safe space to share with someone who would not only get it, but would celebrate it too!
That is what MOM LYFE is all about…a safe place where you and your season as a mom can be celebrated and wisely counseled. I invite you to help curate this space with an abundance of authenticity, encouragement, ears to listen, shoulders to lean (and cry) on, wisdom and, most importantly, Jesus! Add like-minded friends and mentorship to your mom journey by being a part of Mom LYFE. Let’s build an unshakable joy and peace on the unchangeable foundation of faith in Christ together.
Love, Pastor Shannon
Mom LYFE meets in person every Wednesday…Learn more at https://subspla.sh/h24v6fx/
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3 Comments
Amen and amen! Thank you for sharing and for this place and space!
Love you
Amen! I like when you said our life doesn't need to be validated by us or others! Only God's seal of approval matters.
Love this! Thanks for sharing!